Having A (Not So) Holly Jolly Christmas?
by Evelyn Bartin

Feeling fa-la-la-la-lonely? The only thing jingling are your nerves? Wishing on the star in the north you were dead? You're not alone!

Since many people do not seek help for depression, statistical reports vary. However, some say depression affects as many as one in four women and one in eight men. It's no surprise, then, that its holiday offshoot, "Christmas blues," are real and affect a lot of people. In fact, last year I even noticed that one of the churches in Rhinebeck was holding a special Blue Christmas service just for us sufferers.

The experts say that the primary cause of holiday depression is unrealistic expectations. This starts at childhood and is perpetuated over the years through the media and the retail push. I don't know about you, but to me it seems the stores now begin putting out their Christmas stuff during the Labor Day weekend. And let's not even discuss the Christmas in July thing!

To all this early Christmas consciousness-raising and marketing madness, try adding an already strained budget that needs to stretch even more, or some dysfunctional family dynamics, or personal loss or bereavement, or job problems. And maybe throw in the fact that you're a single elf in a world of Mr. and Mrs. Clauses, and there you have it, you're one miserable Santa's helper.

As if all this weren't difficult enough to bear, you feel the pressure of people judging you, wondering why you're "not in the holiday spirit," maybe even labeling you a grinch.

The experts say that therapy and pharmaceuticals are the recommended course of action. I imagine they're right. But those can take months to make a difference, and you need help now! Well, I'm no expert, so I can't recommend anything. But, living alone as I do, I can sympathize and I can tell you what I do.

First and foremost, I try to keep my sense of humor. Even when I'm feeling my Christmas-crummiest, I know in my heart-of-hearts there's a good laugh lurking around somewhere. I really try to find it.

I also remember that, like most things, the holiday season has an end date. I prematurely flip my calendar over to January and start to plan fun things to do in the upcoming new year.

I go to the movies . . . a lot! I see anything that has nothing to do with Christmas and the holidays. And though my TV is usually my buddy during the rest of the year, I find that at holiday time it just can't stop itself from selling me Christmas. So I hide the remote in some place I won't think of looking (like near my treadmill).

Despite the cold and the snow, I make sure to get out into the daylight and fresh air, sometimes just to stand on my back deck and give a quick shriek. I figure the neighbors won't hear, what with all that harking and heralding they're doing.

The experts also say to avoid alcohol, since it may give you a quick lift but will ultimately act like a depressant. Well, I say an occasional glass of good wine makes me smile, particularly paired with a good dinner and shared with good friends.

In the end, friends are my church—at Christmas or any other time of the year. And while I'm certainly not trying to dissuade anyone from going to a religious service or seeking professional help for holiday blues, I find that being with my friends makes me feel best. And if I explain to them that I don't enjoy being the poster child for "bah, humbug," that I'm really feeling lonely and sad, they'll stop their singing and their wrapping and give me a hug. That, my fellow Christmas curmudgeons, is what works best for me in my fight against the holiday blues.

Here's wishing us all a happy 2nd of January!